One...Two...Three strikes your out...

I forgot how much I loved baseball. I went to a redbirds game tonight and it was a blast.
I have no current bad feelings about anything, although I don't quite know if I am going to be a good OT or not. I messed up on a splinting test because I thought 4 hours of studying was enough. Little did I know... I need to stop procrastinating. SERIOUSLY. Any one have any good advice?

Plans

Audreys Graduation
June
St. Louis
Redbirds
Margaritas
The windy city
Baseball
Louisville
Witches
Birthdays
Martin
Beaches
Camping
Mountains
Wedding Planning
Weight Loss
A new me
Movies
BBQs
Fireworks
Dogs
Smiles
Music
Laughter
Hugs
Thunder
Breathing
Swimming

So you had a bad day...

I had a really really bad day today. Then again every day at school seems to be a bad day. I am really turning into a person I hate. I glare at people who stand too close or drive too slow on the highway. I find myself wanting to scream all the time. It's not healthy. No one wants to be around that. I just need to keep fighting and try to find that happy I one had. I don't remember what it feels like.

Zombies

I have been having dreams about zombies. I am in a house full of them and there are only abuot 4 normal people with me. One is a man that I don't know, but feel safe with. I can't see his face, but he is like my protector. Then there is a little girl, a girl my age, and another guy. No one I recognize. The zombies are everywhere and try to get us at every corner. No one ever dies in my dreams. We come close to it, but are never fully attacked. We end up in a room, where we finally feel safe. It just reminds me of a scary movie. Anyone have dream interpretations??

I also keep having a dream that I am surrounded by muddy water. There is a shack in the middle of the muddy water and I am standing on it. A few people, who I will not name, but are probably the worst friends I have ever come to know are swimming in the water yelling for me and my other friends to jump in. A couple jump in, but the rest go inside. The ones that go inside are those who I call my close friends. I think its an awesome dream. Seems to show me the way in my friendships.

Finally I will shut up. lol. But I keep having the same guy appear in my dreams. I can never see his face, I just know every time he shows up I feel loved and safe. I wonder if he is my dream man. lol.

Babbling is over. Thanks. Bye.

Up to here.

I am getting really sick of people. Mostly I am tired of the guilt trips they put on me. It always feel as though I am doing something wrong. I guess its because I am starting to stand up for myself now. I don't let anyone push me around so much as I used to. I still have the problem with trying to make others happy, but not so much any more. Sometimes, I want to run to a place where no one can find me. That would be nice.

Finding Optimism

The past three months have been a rollercoaster. I love the Occupational Therapy program I am in. I love the people. They teach me new things everyday. I have been really unhappy for some time now. I don't know if its the stress of Grad school or that I don't make time for myself. I am going to figure it out because thats what OTs do best. Memphis isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I really like living close to home. I miss a handful of people in Martin, Paris, and Kentucky, but I am certain I am where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. Everything will fall into place. It just takes time.