Letting it all go...because its my blog and I can do it.

On my mind:
I HAVE A LOT AND I AM UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


fat.
I would like to road trip.
I would like to punch some people in the foot.
I would like to feel good about myself like I used to.
Life is not freaking fair. I know. I know I KNOW!

This blog is just me whining, but it makes me feel better to write it down.

I can almost see it.

I really want to go on a trail right now with my doggie. Thing is, I am kind of afraid to because you don't know what type of looney is out there.

I am almost done with my first semester of grad school. All I can say is wow. Its been a long journey. I have grown more in this first semester of grad school than I have in my whole 22 years. I have been knocked down and shaken. I have cried and laughed the hardest I have in my entire life. I have stood up for myself and stopped trying to please everyone. My mom says this is one of the hardest things I will ever do in my life...and she is right.

My mom got my dad and Xbox for his birthday. I can't tell you how exciting it is to watch him kill zombies. lol. It takes me back to when I was a little girl playing Zelda on Super Nintendo and always needed him to kill the bosses for me.

Tonight I am going to step out of my comfort zone. Who knows where I will end up, but I won't be wondering at the end of the night where that might have been.

I can't wait to see my friends next week.

Time to go do some housework. Lata.

I am worried. What else is new?

This is how I feel all the time.

Question.

Do you like Bagel sandwiches?

If you haven't tried one yet, you should. :)

These are the moments.

I love...

the sound of rain on the roof.

taking the long way, just so you can sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs.

how my dogs love me unconditionally.

when things are better than you expect them to be.

long road trips to see great friends.

cooking for the ones I love.

the fact that I have a family that supports me and wants what is best.

sunshine and tulips.

laughing so hard it hurts.

I am going to move here...

Portland, OR

But before I do that I will travel the world. I want to join the Peace Corps.

For now I need to remember...

There will always be a battle ahead. There will always be something to be sad about. In the end, only the good things are worth your thoughts. Things may be so tough that you want to give up and run away, but no one ever got anywhere hiding. Take the challenges that come your way. After all, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain."

My life.

I have a test tomorrow, a presentation, three exams, a splint video and book to make, fieldwork placement, and a take home exams to get done by next week. I really envy people who are on summer break. There is so much to do. I ask myself everyday what the hell am I doing? Then I remember that I am making something of myself. Instead of just sitting idle. That gets boring after a while. Its nice for a few days, but then you start to get restless. At least I do. I guess I will just keep charging through and appreciate the little things that come my way. I could really use a hug at the moment.

Marshmellows.

I have this problem.
Every time a boy shows interest I think of reasons not to like him. I tell myself he is probably a druggie, loser, has no plan in life, and it would end badly any way so quit while you are ahead.
I think I set myself up for disappointment by going for these guys. Thinking they will stop doing stupid things or start making plans. The truth is they don't change. And I know they won't. Its a way for me to not get close to a guy and then send him packing as soon as I have had enough. I wonder when I will stop doing that and open myself up to good guys who do want to make something of themselves. If there are any out there, that is.

PS: I miss you guys.