It hit me.

It is really amazing how your life can completely change because of one person.
My sister has suffered a great loss. But she will gain so much.
I am rooting for her.

I hate mixed feelings about everything right now. I know I have grown because I have kept my mouth shut when all I wanted to do was say the meanest thing possible to the asshole that broke her heart. But I am not going to. Because KARMA is a bigger bitch then I will ever be. I know it's true. I have seen it happen before. It may take some time, but everyone gets what is coming to them sooner or later.

My heart hurts for Audrey right now.

Defying Gravity

My favorite Wicked song.
Probably because I makes me so happy that I made it this far.

"And if I am flying solo, at least I am flying free. To all those who ground me take a message back from me...Tell them that I am defying gravity."

Just talking to talk.

Oh what a stupid boy you are.
You will never know how much you hurt her because she won't let you.
You will never have anyone love you as much as she did.
I am so proud of her.
She is so strong.
I could never show that strength.
To you, you stupid boy. I wish you the best of luck in finding someone who is as wonderful as she.

Wonderful.

Yesterday was student orientation for the new OT class! You know what that means???

I AM AN MOT2!!!

I am halfway there and livin on a prayer!

It went well. They are all sweet. All except for Tucker because he is Tucker. JK. I am happy to be his Big Sib.

After orientation it was time for Ashley's Bachelorette party.
All I can say is wow.
We bought wigs of different colors and went to Tunica. Made the best entrance ever.
I guess it takes people by surprise when a group of ladies come in with multi-colored hair.
Then I boogied all night.

It was a blast.
I would recommend it to anyone.

Three things I did well today.

1.) I was confident in presenting to the class.
2.) I kept my cool when another individual wasn't.
3.) I laughed a lot.

Thoughts.

Today I gave a presentation on the Routine Task Inventory assessment. Tomorrow I will be teaching my classmates how to use it. Its not that interesting, but its part of OT. Can't all be kicks and giggles.

On presentation days I get really nervous. Its so bad sometimes that on the way to school I will wish that I could fall and break my wrist so I wouldn't have to go. Or I look at people in their cars and wish that I was them. But I make it to class. Sit in my seat until it is my turn to present and then go do my thing. It usually turns out well 95% of the time. I am improving and I am proud of myself for that.

I have been looking at friends weddings and engagement pictures lately. It is depressing for a single gal with no prospects. I really thought when I was 16 that I would be a mom by now. It is funny how life does not turn out the way you think it will. I couldn't imagine caring for a baby at this point in my life.

This weekend is orientation for the new students coming in. I have two little sibs, Tucker and Anna. I hope that I can be someone that helps them through the hard road they have ahead. I remember texting my big sib while I was taking anatomy and asking her to say something to stop me from jumping out of the library window. She would make me laugh or give me encouragement. I never thought I would make it this far. I am proud of myself. This is probably one of the hardest things I will ever do in my life.

I want to visit friends very soon. I am running out of funds and will have to pick up shifts at chilis. My friend Ashley is getting married next weekend. I am happy for her. Things are very exciting.

I love everyone who reads this. I hope they know that. Even though I can't see you all the time or disappoint. Know that.

Ups and Downs.

I keep telling myself don't freak out until you find out what is really wrong.
I am trying to be positive.
Love you Auderoo.
Don't know if I could live without you or mom.