Work.

I am tired of working.
I need the money.
I am feeling as though all I do is work. I have not made the trips during this break I thought I was going to make because I have been working doubles. I feel like I am losing touch with life.
After the holidays I will be making trips.
See you soon.

Live for the moment.

I don't want to get old. I don't want people I love to leave me.

I have a theory that something bad always happens with something good. I hope it is not true. I hope I do not have to lose people to gain others.

I know I need to live for the moment. Treat every day as though it were my last. I know I can't worry about things that are out of my control. I am a very selfish individual.

I wish happiness did not take so much work. I want to be happy. I don't want to have little sparks of insanity where all I want to do is crawl in a hole. Then again, I think everyone has that feeling now and then.

I miss my friends. I suddenly feel so far away from everyone.

FML.

The title is how I feel.
People are freaking rude.
I don't want to be around them any more.
Not even family sometimes.

This girl at work threatened to kick my ass. For no reason at all. I looked at her wrong, I guess.
TJ is an Ahole. There. I said it. Go and be happy. I hope everything catches up to you. I hope you get what you deserve and then find happiness after that. Because you sure as hell do not deserve it right now.

I wish that Athena could live with us. Stupid Holly.

I need a hug.

Challenge of 2009

The biggest leap I have taken this year...
Something that shoved me out of my comfort zone...
A huge risk where I felt like I was jumping off of a cliff...
The hardest thing I have done thus far...

Occupational Therapy school.
haha.
Probably a boring story to those who know me.
I have been challenged. I have been pushed to the limit. I have felt like all I wanted to do was quit.

But I didn't...
It has changed me. I believe in myself. I let petty things and people be.

Now...if only I could achieve an optimistic perspective on everything.
Anyone know how to do that?

Constant.

I go up, I go down.
I get mad, I get happy.
I am mean, I am nice.
I don't want to talk, I talk too much.
I like you, I hate you.

I wish life was not such a rollercoaster.
Would be nice if there was consistency.

Good day yesterday.

Yesterday was my day to go to my Professional Development Evaluation. aka PDEs.
Its this long process where you have to make up a notebook filled with evidence that you portray altruism and caring in your every day life. You also have to have 50 pages of evidence (like emails from professors, notes from fieldwork supervisors, thank you notes) showing that you have leadership, are a postive learner...etc. Basically everything you need to be an Occupational Therapist. After you compile all this evidence you have to sit in between two professors explaining every single piece for an hour.

I spent about 20 hours getting everything together. I was terrified of the professors evaluating me, well one in particular. I thought he had it out for me because some things happened in the past where he embarrassed me or made me feel very small. I was very nervous.

At 10:30am I went to my meeting and sat between the two professors explaining everything. They gave me positive feedback throughout the entire meeting. At the end of every meeting you are told feedback from all the other 8 professors. It is both positive and negative, things they believe you need to improve upon. I was waiting to hear something negative about myself throughout the entire process, especially at the end, but it never happened. They told me I was everything that encompassed occupational therapy. They talked about how much I have grown in a year and how proud they are of me. They said that this is where I belong and know I am going to be wonderful in this field. I was shocked.

It was a very uplifting experience. I won't forget it. I know where I stand now. I can and will be an occupational therapist. It has changed my life so much. SO MUCH. I really do not know where I would be without OT.

That was my day yesterday. A good one.

For your information

Hi everyone.

I miss you very much.
The ones who read this.
I hope you know you are loved and that someone is always thinking about you.